the treasure of the escape

hi. i moved back across the country, back to my beloved adopted hometown of pittsburgh, PA, after nearly a decade’s absence. it mostly feels really good. i’m feeling really good. in part because i got transcranial magnetic stimulation which helped me feel….not depressed? for the first time in my conscious life, maybe? but also becauseContinue reading “the treasure of the escape”

all i want to do is lose myself in your room

tonight i went to my first live music in about 2 years. i saw everclear, who were one of my favorite bands in high school. i feel some need to apologize for liking everclear, but the truth is, they have songs about being from a fucked-up working-class family, about being desperate, about wanting to escapeContinue reading “all i want to do is lose myself in your room”

some more illustrated journal entries

i was recently re-reading my journal from 2016-17, looking for something, and what i found instead was a lot of kind of hilarious observations of the people around me. i was working as a case manager in SF and out and about in the city all day, having weird shit happen. these are all transcribedContinue reading “some more illustrated journal entries”

all this fucking exercise and i’m still so fucking sad

As a lifelong non-driver, and as an urban cyclist of 20+ years, I generally dislike walking. People who drive see walking as this fun, recreational thing, a privilege to get to do. They have the option of getting in a car and being whisked somewhere once walking gets too inconvenient, once they get tired, onceContinue reading “all this fucking exercise and i’m still so fucking sad”

2020 in review. in case you were wondering.

2020 in review! 1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before?Graduated grad school. Made over $20 an hour. Lived in Sacramento. Survived (?) a global pandemic as an essential worker working for places that LITERALLY do not care if you live or die as long as you used your last breathContinue reading “2020 in review. in case you were wondering.”

a (half-)year in review.

one of my best friends says i’m good at timelines. she calls me her memory. she said that sometimes, just for fun, she says that she says that something happened in 2008, without worrying too much about whether or not it happened then. anyway, here’s my 2020. january started with a moment of cowardice onContinue reading “a (half-)year in review.”

the world and i, we are still waiting.

i got a zine and some tinctures in the mail today from my friend jay rae verbena, someone who i know through zines and have only met IRL once, in 2011, when i was on a megabus zine tour throughout the midwest and going through the worst breakup of my life. they haven’t done aContinue reading “the world and i, we are still waiting.”

on queer archetypes, in every sense of the word.

do you know what archetypes are? lately i’ve grown obsessed with them, in no small part because of my wild unknown archetypes deck (pictured below), which is beautiful and confusing and which i don’t really know how to use. the definition of archetype is: “an inherited pattern of thought or symbolic imagery derived from pastContinue reading “on queer archetypes, in every sense of the word.”